Comments on: Parents Doing School Projects for Their Kids?!

By: Jean

Jean — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 14:58:38 +0000

My son’s class just turned in their Native American villages…or should I say the parents just turned in THEIR projects. I am appalled that those kids received grades and ribbons for work their parents did for them. The quality of the work was of a college level, not that of a nine year old. My son and three other kids did their own work and received the worst grades and the lowest ribbons. What have we taught the kids? That it is all right to cheat? That having mommy and daddy do your work is okay? Can I play my son’s solo for him at music contest…BTW I have a Master’s Degree in Music and play professionally. Of course not, but how is this any different? My son wants to know how this is right, and I don’t have an answer for him.

By: GraceReal

GraceReal — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 02:17:03 +0000

The competitiveness of parents drives me crazy. I know one father whose entire Christmas vacation was consumed by manufacturing his sons’ Pinewood Derby racecars for Cub Scouts. These things were masterpieces which won year after year. But one year he googled ways to cheat on car designs to make them even faster and the cars got disqualified for an illegal design. Kids were devastated (and the dad even moreso)…but sure enough the next year they were back and won again. Dad was thrilled.

By: BusyDad

BusyDad — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 15:16:42 +0000

Excellent post SoapyB! And I like how you guys handle it. I'm still trying to walk that line myself. My kid gets a ton of homework and we try to be as hands off as possible (also, I have to admit, I get lazy and use "he has to learn this himself" as an excuse to blog while he works!). But every so often, I have to step in (and laugh). Like when during a fill-in-the-blank exercise with 3 blanks and a picture of an ape, he squeezed in the letters "munkee". BusyDad's last blog post..Do Labor Unions Hold Drafts?

By: Momma Mary

Momma Mary — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 05:37:53 +0000

I wrote a blog on this a while back, albeit yours is a BIT friendlier than mine… and written a LOT better. I agree whole heartedly! It starts with the little things and goes a LONG LONG LONG way!

Momma Mary’s last blog post..Baby? Um, No. More like DEVIL, er, I mean Toddler?

By: PG

PG — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 05:00:14 +0000

Nice post. Looked at it in my reader for days before I actually clicked into it….

A couple observations…

I agree with almost everything said here.

I nodded knowingly with Dan. His comment re: “leave it up to the smart teachers”. I think that is soooooo much a part of why we as parents seem to be doing so much. We assume the teachers AREN’T smart… we think the teachers are either too stupid to put two and two together and realize we did it, or too idiotic to acknowledge and appreciate work done by (primarily or solely) the kid.

re: momo’s comments… I have NO problem with a lot being asked of from our kids. Woodworking or not, I am glad to see them take a stab at it. Win lose or draw. But yeah, God knows I wasn’t required to do anything near the level or work our kids are. But that’s alright.

PG’s last blog post..Opening Day (Little League Style) feat. Project 365 Days 85 & 86

By: Myra

Myra — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 01:49:40 +0000

amen sister! my 5 yo son is in kindergarten, and already i’ve weighed the “competition” of his projects against other parents vs. his need to perform on his own. i’m happy to say the latter won out.

By: sara

sara — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 00:41:44 +0000

its okay to help but not do their whole thing, i heard about some parents doing their childrens homework.. how are children suppposed to learn? sara's last blog post..This weekend

By: Momo Fali

Momo Fali — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 23:38:36 +0000

I completely agree, BUT recently my 3rd grader brought home an assignment to make three simple machines. The instructions didn't say the parents should help, but we had to saw and screw the thing together. We let her come up with the idea, then we helped her with the work. I didn't have a project like that until I was in the 7th grade and had access to the woodworking equipment at school. I can hardly believe what they expect of kids these days! Momo Fali's last blog post..We Were Going To Call Him Stumpy

By: Scattered Mom

Scattered Mom — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 02:39:32 +0000

I absolutely agree with you.

But…..I have to share a story.

Once my son had a project, and he wanted to build a replica of an actual robot scientists use in the desert. He drew out the designs, figured out the materials, and then asked us to help him purchase it all. We did. He also wanted to make it remote control…but he needed to sauter stuff and had some questions about how to make that actually work. Hubs taught him how to sauter and answered his questions.

Jake put that robot together, and before you know it he had a working, remote control robot that he took to school and had whizzing through the halls. He was SO proud of himself. It was a lot of work! Until, of course, a parent approached him and said,

“There is NO WAY you built that by yourself. Obviously your parents built it.” Me, the Mom that is so NOT mechanically inclined and my Hubs, who did nothing beyond answering questions and providing materials.

Jake was mortified. Humiliated. And rightfully angry. He has been told from a young age that just because he’s gifted doesn’t mean he needs to flaunt it. We’ve been big on “prove you’re smart by what you do, not by telling people.” However even when he does, people still don’t always believe the work as his.

So if one sees a project that “obviously a child never could have done”, maybe they need to think again. The child very would MAY HAVE.

And Jake? He’ll be fine. He looked that parent right in the eye and said firmly, “No, I built that. Wanna know how?”

Scattered Mom’s last blog post..Kindness Challenge Update

By: Dan Leone

Dan Leone — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 04:18:12 +0000

Wonderful post, SBM! My first grader, just submitted his first science project and I am very proud that he and I worked through it together. His project had an adult touch to it, obviously. But the opportunity to be with him and to discuss my favorite topic, science, with him, was too important to pass up. I will leave it up to the smart teachers to recognize a parent’s influence and sift through that. But they can equally recognize the child that was forced to ball up some tin foil to make a planet because the parent was not involved for even a second.

The idea that I should have handed him some glue sticks and see ya later would make no sense to me.

What makes your post so wonderful to me is that you so eloquently stated that on the one hand, you are prepping them for the “real world” but that doesn’t mean to be completely hands off.

I agree!

Now, its time for me to return to my Baby Goats….they may forget to blink if I am not hovering over them.

Dan Leone’s last blog post..Just leave me a comment