Entries Tagged 'education' ↓

My husband is a brilliant man. Very knowledgeable. About many things. I don’t say that to brag, rather to highlight his ability to answer our kids’ questions in many areas, including obscure historical facts and tidbits. But when it comes to math? He’s not their go to person. I am.

And I have to admit…it feels pretty darn good.

Sometimes I feel pretty inadequate when I don’t know the answers to questions about Greek mythology (was never a passion of mine) or ancient Rome (ditto).

But math? I love math. I tutored Calculus in college. I probably should have majored in Applied Mathematics. It’s exciting to me. Magical. Actually, I’ve been known to lecture the kids about the magic of math and to do so with a sparkle in my eyes and a smile on my face.

And you know what? My kids love math. I don’t mean to be smug; I mean, I’m not giving myself all the credit for that fact. But I bet it doesn’t hurt that I can get pretty excited about the Pythagorean Theorem . Or that I’ve told them about the navy t-shirt (I even remember the color) I used to have when I was around ten with a sketch on it that looked something like this:

Yeah, I’ve always loved math. In fact, when I was around my daughter’s age, special time with my dad consisted of his teaching me about the Base 10 system and slide rules . Woohoo!

So…why not celebrate it? I don’t shove it in their faces or insist that they learn about the slide rule before ever using a calculator (which is what my dad did with me). But they’re well aware of my passion for math. And they don’t hesitate to come to me with any questions that arise as they tackle daily homework.

And? It makes me feel good when they do.

I can’t wait until they start Calculus. Woot!

Last year around Mother’s Day, I heard someone say that mothers are closest to their children when they’re in the womb. From the moment they’re born we’re slowly letting them go. I agree. When they’re babies they need our help; but year by year they grow more independent. By the time they get to school, it’s best to let them do their own thing and learn what they’re there to learn. Even if those lessons are painful. Or when we know they may fail.

School projects come to mind as a great example. I know so many parents who just don’t want to let go of their kids. They want to help. So they start out just observing, then they help a little, then a little more then a little more and before you know it, they’ve done a majority of the work. I think that’s unfortunate.

Kids should do their own school projects.

Last year, I walked into my son’s classroom and saw a beautiful display with so much detail and intricate handiwork, I immediately knew no third grader made it. I hadn’t helped my son at all, so immediately I felt guilty. I pulled another mom over and sheepishly asked, “Were we supposed to help do these projects?” She looked stunned (yet impressed) by the professional looking display before us. She muttered, “Noooo” as she continued to check out the board. I felt first confused and then annoyed.

What’s the point of someone’s mother doing a third grade project? Why would a parent feel compelled to take over for her child? Does she fear the kid might fail without her help? Does she think the kid just isn’t doing it right (i.e., the way the parent would do it if it were his/her project?)? How can the kid learn anything if the parent takes over and does everything for him? Isn’t there something to be said for the child’s learning experience?

I know it’s tempting. Heck, I was the worst offender when my son was a bit younger. Whenever he felt a twinge of frustration, I was the mom who would jump in and say, “Oh, here sweetie, let me do that for you” and actually think I was helping him. Now, years later, I see how that kind of rescuing behavior only makes the kid feel incompetent. It must be pretty demoralizing to think you need your mom to come and do everything for you. That over-protectiveness simply has to change at some point. The sooner the better (within reason).

It’s sometimes tricky to find the line. How much help is enough without being too much?

As parents, we’re effectively training our children to be the best adults they can be. As each year passes, we hope to pass on more and more tools for life. I know parents who taught their kids to do their own laundry when they were in third grade. Many other parents teach their kids how to cook so that they’ll be able to handle living on their own. Their rationale? We can’t expect them to go off to college knowing how to live independently if we haven’t given them adequate guidance. And we can’t sit down two weeks before they’re ready to leave and say, “Okay, junior, here’s what you’ll need to know when you get there.” So we give it to them piecemeal. Little by little, step by step. They learn to walk before they can run. They learn to chop vegetables before they make a stew.

And sometimes you let them fall so that they know they’ll survive the many pains of life but also so they know that they can do it. So that they can feel confident

And, if you accept the idea that we’re training them for life, then how can you justify taking over a job that has been assigned to someone else? I mean, when they’re in their 20s, I’m not about to go to their places of business and run their meetings. But we shouldn’t be completely hands off either.

So here’s the policy in our house: hubs and I will buy any necessary materials, maybe even advise on which materials might work best or make suggestions but that’s it. We encourage the kids and guide them but we also make sure that they take ownership of the task. And we follow up by asking what they learned by doing the project (because that is the point after all).

And you know what? It’s made a huge difference!

When parents give their children sufficient guidance and freedom to let their imaginations soar (without imposing their own viewpoints or worse, taking over entire projects) we give our kids the confidence and self satisfaction that helps them grow into secure, assertive adults.

I’m so excited about a website our friends told us about last night.

It’s called Free Rice and it looks like this:

It’s great for your (older) kids, but don’t be surprised if you join in and try it, too. But be warned: it might be hard to stop.

Here’s how it works:

They give you a word and four other words beneath it. Then, you choose which of the four words most accurately defines or describes the first word. The site tracks each right answer and increases the degree of difficulty to keep you (or your kids) at the right level.

But here’s the best part: for each right answer, they’ll* donate 20 grains of rice to the United Nations World Food Program.

Wanna try it?

Just click the picture (below) or go to freerice.com.

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*The rice is paid for by adverstisers/sponsors of the Free Rice website. So you don’t have to contribute a cent. It’s fun! Give it a try! And I’m not getting anything for telling you about it either. I just think it’s cool and worth a look!

Have you heard about the latest danger to our kids? Staph infections (or Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (or MRSA) infections). To learn more, read this article about MRSA or this article from the Mayo Clinic. It used to be thought of as a hospital infection but has more recently been problematic in schools and playgrounds.

Here’s an article about how to help protect your kids from MRSA while they’re at school.

In all the articles I’ve read, experts agree that kids need to (at least!) take simple precautions like washing their hands well. Here’s a site with a downloadable poster about hand washing. And here’s an information-packed site which includes a good article about the importance of hand washing (for your especially reluctant kids). If that part of the website is too young for your kids, then try their link for teens, by clicking here.

While we’re on the topic of handwashing, here’s a good (a bit old, but still good!) article from USA Today about it.

The other most important point I took away from the articles was to be sure to clean any open wounds on your kids and cover them with bandages. Don’t give in to the, “Aw, mom, it’s okay…” whine.

Image from USA Today (by Nancy Stone, Chicago Tribune, via AP).

I often search the web for great websites for my kids. For some subjects (like math), I particularly like finding sites that make learning fun (even for tweens).

I was thinking that there might be some readers who don’t have the time to go searching for sites…so, here are a few links I like. These are mainly for math:

The first site I’d describe as a James-Bond-type-of-character-meets-math site that I call Cool, Cool Math Site that you just have to see! (mostly b/c the URL is insanely cumbersome)

Here is a well-known site called FunBrain-Math, more commonly referred to as Math Baseball. Basically, your kids will do many simple skill exercises that earn them a “homerun”. Don’t expect great, engaging graphics, though. Your kids will undoubtedly like this site much more for its well known character, Greg Heffley, and his “Diary of a Wimpy Kid.” His site can be found on the main FunBrain Home Page (just click on the “Web Books + Comics” button) or here and for his blog click here.

If you haven’t heard about this yet, and you have a fourth grader (or older), you will most likely hear about it soon.

The next site is called simply, CoolMath. Or you can go right to the section just for kids, called CoolMath4Kids.

If you’d rather have some without all the bells and whistles (i.e., vivid colors and eye catching buttons) of CoolMath4Kids, but with great research tools, try these — first, this one has a nice drop down menu called, “Quick! I need help with:” (which is exactly what I call it when I bookmark it). On that site, you can search within all sorts of math topics from Quadratic Equations to Word Problems with Ages.

And this site looks really boring, but has some fun tools.

For something completely different, this one is all games!

I’ve always loved math, so I especially hope this helps kids who don’t yet (and may never!) see the magic of math or those who just dread doing their math homework.

Images from Google Images (and Alleghany High and fotosearch.com)

Okay, so last night DH and I watched the HBO show “Entourage” which (usually) we really enjoy for its sophisticated humor. It’s like a male version of “Sex and the City,” because it provides a little insight into the male mind via male friendships and does it in a humorous, entertaining way. Lately, I’m sorry to say, it’s been downright annoying. But the inconsistency of Entourage is not what today’s post is about. It’s about pushy, over the top parents.

So here’s how one part of last night’s episode of Entourage is relevant to this blog. Ari Gold, one of my favorite characters on Entourage, is a high energy, aggressive, cocky, sarcastic, insecure but somehow still charming talent agent. He is also a father. He and his wife get word that their son will most likely not be admitted to the private school their daughter has been attending for many years. The couple go ballistic, anxiously trying to figure out why he would be rejected and Ari attempts to prevent the seemingly imminent diss. After he unsuccessfully confronts some of the administrative types (including a board member/pal) he goes right to the headmaster of the school, lobbies for his son’s acceptance, reminds him of the tens of thousands of dollars the family has donated to the school as well as the many hours his wife has volunteered and then he even throws in a bribe of $20K. Out of sheer frustration, the headmaster admits that his rejection has nothing to do with the boy, rather, it’s all about Ari. The school community has had to put up with Ari’s brash, obnoxious attitude for so many years that it can’t stand the thought of another decade with him, walking around the halls yakking on his cell phone, screaming at sports events and generally annoying everyone. Ari, stunned and furious, immediately removes his daughter from her classroom and storms out of the school.

As I’ve said in earlier posts, kids are wonderful. They’re amazing, wonderful little people who soak up information the way sponges drink in water. Parents, however, can be annoying, pushy, domineering, obnoxious and unreasonable. More often than not, it’s the ones like Ari who are completely clueless about their impact on the world around them.

I’m beginning to realize that I’m not the only person who dislikes pushy parents.