Today’s Mantra: Ignore the haters and don’t feed the trolls.
My kids and I made a video where I talked about how I would love to host a talk show on Oprah’s new network. It was fun – until I started getting comments from a woman who alleged that I trash working moms on this blog (and erroneously suggested that I’ve never been a working mom). Um, no. Not true. Read my blog. Search my blog. That’s not what it’s about. I have absolutely no desire to do such a thing. Perhaps you’re thinking of someone else. I left a response to that effect.
Then the commenter insisted and referred to remarks I made in a video* last year in which I had a specific beef with one person whom I believed had not sufficiently acknowledged the value of stay-at-home moms.
First of all, for those who don’t know, before these years staying home with my kids, I was a dedicated, passionate, working mom who loved her job and career. I felt I was really making a difference in the world and working on things that were important. When I (somewhat reluctantly) hopped off the career track, I garnered little or no respect for the position in which I found myself and cringed at the thought of the label that people disdainfully attached to it, as well as when I heard them say things like “oh, she’s just a stay-at-home mom.”
I was raised by a strong, self sufficient, feminist working mom (whom I adored and respected and to whom I was very close) who drilled into my sister’s and my heads things like, “never depend on a man,” and “always be sure that you can support yourself.” I worked my way through college and law school to ensure that I would always be a career woman determined to remain forever independent. I envisioned nothing else.
The site is “a ten minute, commercial-free daily news program” geared to middle and high-school students.
If you’ve been looking for ways to get your teens interested in the news, I recommend bookmarking the CNN Student News site and showing it to your kids. It’s geared to them, so it’s a bit more hip, clean and concise than the main CNN site.
When I heard Dave Barry’s story about embarrassing his teenage son by picking him up from school in a Wienermobile (true story!), I thought I’d try his advice. He suggested that one of the easiest ways to get attention from teens was to sing. I’d add to that a bit by saying that song choice matters, too.
So here’s what I’ve been trying:
when my kids are screwing around, laughing and wasting time instead of doing their homework, I start to sign a song that I know they really don’t like (e.g., What Do You Want From Me?). It gets their attention much faster than saying expected phrases (like, “Focus, guys.” or “Get back to work now, please.”). Before long, they’re begging me to stop and agreeing to focus on their studies.
Believe me, when they become teens you have to get creative.
I often wonder whether most families experience the challenges of at least one picky eater. I suspect they do.
Well, I know we do.
It’s my son.
I can’t criticize him too much, though. I was the same way. Didn’t like my corn touching my mashed potatoes, despite the fact that my sister loved mixing them together. I’d sit next to her and think, “Ugh! How could you!?”
So last week, when my son suggested adding some swipes of Nutella to a few graham crackers, I thought, “Sure! Automatic buy-in (because he suggested it) and super economical.” When I was a little girl, I remember trips to Europe with my sister. We treasured that chocolate hazelnut taste because we knew we would never have it after we returned to the States because no stores sold it. Now, however, it’s readily available (at least where we live). What’s more…it’s not primarily made with HFCS anymore.
Since that day, he has asked for the same treat more than once, so I decided to share this simple idea with my readers.
If you have some picky eaters and are frequently seeking snack suggestions, I recommend giving these little treats a try.
Happy snacking!
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This is not a sponsored post. Nobody suggested that I write about these treats, no company compensated me for any of the products or provided any freebies.
Do you think it’s important for your kids to play sports? How about music?
I believe that music benefits our kids, and I strongly encourage parents to support funding for school music programs. They help our children in more ways than many people know or acknowledge. For one man’s knowledgeable perspective, watch this video:
As parents, we hope to instill good values in our children, but how do we know when they learn the lessons or whether they even hear us?
Over the years I’ve wondered…
Do they learn from what we do? How can we be sure?
Wouldn’t it be nice to have a list of lessons, or a credo, if you will?
Then, one day last week, my son handed me a typewritten sheet with the heading, “Life and How to Live It.” He explained that, after teaching the class George Washington’s 110 Rules of Civility, his teacher told the class that she wanted each of them to write a credo.
This is what he wrote:
Life and How to Live it
Keep your head level. You’re no better than the next guy.
Stick together. If a bunch of fish group together, it scares away the shark.
Always remember what’s important in life. Your hair doesn’t matter as much as your SAT score.
Be yourself. Just because someone else jumps off a bridge doesn’t mean you have to.
Don’t depend on others to make you happy. If someone doesn’t like you anymore, it doesn’t have to be the end of the world.
Keep a good balance of work and play. Ever seen The Shining?
If you think of it as fun, it’ll go by a lot faster.
Violence isn’t always the answer.
Remember to give as much as you get and get as much as you give.
Always know what path you’re on—and how what you’re doing will affect you long-term.
Always know which way is up and which way is down.
STUDY. What college you go to matters a lot more than Sunday Night Football.
Sleep actually DOES matter. You aren’t any cooler if you stay up till midnight.
Whenever you do anything that you think might not seem right, even the slightest bit, ask yourself: Would I like this if someone did this to me?
And always, ALWAYS, be nicest to the ones you love.
After reading it, I smiled, thanked him and gave him a great big bear hug. Every bullet point represented little lessons taught over the years. Most came from those lectures where I thought I was talking too much and wondered whether his eyes were glazing over, whether he was thinking about football rather than listening to what I was telling him. Others came from experiences and morals gleaned from stories about my family members. I recognized all of them. Remembered every conversation, every moment we talked about these ideas.
Hooray. Simply, hooray.
There it was — years of talking, teaching, leading, discussing, and guiding summed up by a page of bullet points. He told me that he could have written more, but had to keep it to a page.
“That’s fine,” I thought. “More than good enough.”
Parenting provides no feedback or bonuses, no accolades or pay raises, so how do we know whether we’re doing a good job? We hope for moments like these and when we get them, we cherish them.
At the end of the day, it’s not about us. The measure of our parenting, if it even exists, will be shown by our children’s character as they become young adults. We really don’t know for certain whether they will be responsible citizens, contribute to society, or make a difference in the world. But at least we can breath a little sigh of relief knowing that they hear our words and emulate our actions.
A good friend of mine recently confided that her middle school daughter wants to start wearing eyeliner. I’m happy for her that her daughter asked her permission (rather than sneaking it behind her back and secretly applying it on the bus ride to school). Shortly after our conversation, several other parents told me similar stories. Middle school girls want to wear eyeliner. Just eyeliner.
Do you have a girl in middle school? Chances are good that she (or her friends) has considered wearing eyeliner.
My bottom line advice? Don’t let her wear eyeliner.
Many years ago, I spent some time in the world of fashion and beauty where we learned voice and diction as well as make up application. We were never taught to only wear eyeliner. I have never only worn eyeliner. I wouldnever wear only eyeliner on a bare face.
Here’s my advice:
Makeup is about enhancing features. For everyday looks, it’s intended to make someone more beautiful without attempting to create a mask or simply color the face. Drawing lines around the eyes doesn’t enhance them. It brings attention to them, sure, but that’s about it. And I mean it brings attention to the lines, not the eyes. Imagine a large canvas with a black frame. Would your eyes be drawn to the canvas or the frame?
