Recently, my family and I had the pleasure of enjoying some of the best tennis the world offers at the Sony-Ericsson Open in Key Biscayne, Florida.
We saw Rafa Nadal defeat David Forrer then witnessed Andy Roddick take down Benjamin Becker. After those matches, Roddick upset Nadal in this match:
Shortly afterward, we actually met the winner, Andy Roddick. At a time when he could have walked away and snubbed my son, instead, he spoke a few kind words, signed his cap and thanked us for congratulating him on winning. My greatest impression from that chance encounter was that Roddick looked focused and determined yet treated my son with kindness and top-notch manners. After defeating Nadal, the fourth ranked player in the world, Roddick went on to win the entire tournament.
From our perspective, it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.
Congratulations Roger Federer! Beating Rafael Nadal 6-4, 6-4 in Madrid, Federer won his 15th Masters Series title. And, yes, it was on clay. Go, Roger, go!
If you like tennis, then you know that those two go hand in hand. When we hear the name of that grass court Grand Slam event, we immediately picture him . The king. The champion. Just like we used to do with Pete Sampras. Maybe even Bjorn Borg. Or, yes, John McEnroe. It’s quite a list. As of last night, however, another name has been added to the list of tennis greats.
Rafael Nadal.
In one of the closest, most exciting tennis matches of all time, Nadal managed to win just a few more points to be declared the official winner of the 2008 Men’s Final at Wimbledon.
Have you ever started talking, then lecturing, then ranting to your kids and later regretted it? That’s what happened to me today.
Here’s the story.
My kids are learning to play tennis. I should probably mention that I love tennis. I’m disappointed by our country’s poor showing in Wimbledon right now (and disappointed by Ana Ivanovic’s loss).
Ana Ivanovic
I felt sad when Federer lost to Nadal (again) at the French Open. But I am hopeful that he’ll win Wimbledon.
My daughter has been playing basketball half her life. She plays well and has a good time doing it. She opted not to play travel ball so she could just have fun playing it without the intensity and competitiveness of travel teams.
Recently, however, we experienced something that may have changed her approach and overall state of mind with respect to the sport. The crux of the problem? A parent.
In this particular game, she was playing really well. In fact, I was amazed by a few of her shots. It looked like she was being moved by some greater force or something. I mean, she floated down the court and, in one case, hit a shot from the three point line, using only her right arm, flinging it in with nothin’ but net.
It was beautiful.
She was having so much fun.
Until a dad from the other team apparently decided that the three high school girls coaching his daughter’s team weren’t doing their jobs coaching his daughter. He stepped in and took over, intimidating the girls and getting his face right in all of their faces. I couldn’t hear what he said to them, but my daughter’s teammates overheard him say to his daughter, “You see that #23? Whatever you do, don’t let her take a shot!”
He barked his orders and sent out his attack dog.
We’re talking fifth and sixth grade girls, here, people.
I was keeping the clock for the game, which meant I was sitting next to a dad from the other team, who was keeping the stats and the score in the official game book. He and I had been engaging in friendly chatter for the duration of the game. When Attack Dad turned his daughter into Attack Girl even scorekeeper dad noticed. He said, “Wow, she’s being pretty nasty.” He told me about how he believes that a lot of parents try to live through their kids and work out whatever they were unable to accomplish in their own childhoods. Sure, I’ve heard that and believe it. But, geesh!
At one point, when the girl had excessively elbowed my daughter (and had the bruises and cuts to show for it afterward), she asked Attack Girl, “What are you doing?” Attack Girl responded harshly, “It’s called playing a sport.”
Well, that’s not the way I’ve been taught to play sports. Or the way my kids have been taught to play sports. Certainly not girls’ basketball, anyway. And certainly not in elementary school.
After four fouls called on his daughter, my daughter went to the drinking fountain, shaken, crying and battered. Scorekeeper dad nudged me and said softly, “Er, I think your daughter’s crying.” Sure enough, he’d pushed her to the point of tears. She walked over to me. I hugged her and could feel her shaking. She showed me her cuts and said, “Mom, I’ve never played with someone so mean.”
The coaches took my daughter out for the rest of the game.
I didn’t know how to handle this situation. Attack Dad stands at about 6’3″ and fiercely glares at people. I don’t think it’s my imagination. During that game he looked fierce. Should I have gone over to the guy and said something? If so, what? Would that have really solved anything? The coaches were apologizing, the referees were apologizing, even scorekeeper dad apologized. He told me that his dad coached his basketball team when he was a boy and that, in his opinion, that girl was way over the top. There were definitely moments when it was all I could do to hold myself back from running out there and getting between them.
It was just awful.
I know I’m a bit of a lightweight and hate conflict, but I’m also a sports lover and appreciate the pleasure one can get from playing a good competitive game. But this? This incident was not sport.
I looked over at the guy and scowled in my own kind of glaring way, but then I remembered the hockey player’s dad who killed a guy. So, I decided to walk away. It’s what my daughter wanted to do, too. She said, “Mom, I just want to leave. Please.” So I wrapped my arm around her, held her close and walked out the door.
She really hasn’t played the same way since that game. I can’t help but wonder if she subconsciously fears more attacks, so she’s pulling back a bit on her level of play. Better to fit in than to be attacked (?!). I hope not. I hope the Attack Family did not win by intimidation. But, on the other hand, maybe my daughter has a point when she says we should start thinking about tennis.
I’ve read (and loved!) this quote but when I found the video of the man actually saying it, I wanted to share it as a post.
and I like this one, too:
I hope his words inspire my kids (and not just when they play basketball).
When you’re feeling down, just remember that sometimes you need to fail in order to succeed. When you screw up or even just stumble a bit, you need to pick yourself up, put yourself back out there and keep trying. Our mistakes help us learn and make us grow. Or, more accurately, it’s the lessonsfrom the mistakes.
I think we need to keep learning and growing all our lives. And hey, if that’s true, the sooner we stop beating ourselves up for mistakes we’ve made and view them as opportunities to learn the better off we’ll be.
Oh, and just in case you don’t know Michael Jordan, read this.
Roger Federer won the U.S. Open yesterday. The match was terrific. It was one of the few where Federer seemed to really work hard to earn his title. Same was true when he played Davydenko on Saturday. At the end of that semifinal match, he seemed to be glad it was over. Is he nearing the end of his reign? I hope not.
Roger Federer is a joy to watch. In addition, he is one of the most elegant, chic tennis players of our time. I loved it when he changed (right on the court!) into the jacket (Ralph Lauren, I believe) after winning Wimbledon. Style finally comes to tennis.
But…
What was up with his all black attire yesterday??
It was shocking (presumably intentionally) and just a tad distracting. I know that the U.S. Open is the most lenient Grand Slam tournament when it comes to rules regarding attire. Wimbledon is the strictest with its all white rule (which it only relatively recently loosened and, even then, only slightly). But all black? Hmm…
Then, in this morning’s New York Times, I couldn’t help but notice the full page (Gillette!?) ad featuring Federer in his all black garb against a black background with the words, “Darth Federer strikes again” positioned just above his head. No, no, no, please don’t take away his enchanting elegance and turn him into a dark knight or something. Darth Federer? What message are they trying to convey? Ugh.
I’ll tolerate the all black (some would say chic) get up. But only for the U.S. Open. And only if it comes without some dark PR connotation.
